Cooka big pot of grits, bring him into the kitchen, then toss the grits on him. Then after you toss them, swat him with a frying pan. You gotta get you a good balanced weight, toss and swat, toss and…

Topics: Madea Quotes

Aint no body said nothin bout no lunrch, I don't want no lurnch.

Aint no body said nothin bout no lunrch, I don't want no lurnch.

I keeps me a piece of steel [pulls out gun] load your steel thank ya...

I keeps me a piece of steel [pulls out gun] load your steel thank ya...

I'll shove that phone so far down your throat you'll have to call 911 wit'...

I'll shove that phone so far down your throat you'll have to call 911 wit'...

Wwjd what's that? What's wrong with jermaine dupree?

Wwjd what's that? What's wrong with jermaine dupree?

Call the po-po, I aint scared of no po-po...call the po-po ho.

Call the po-po, I aint scared of no po-po...call the po-po ho.

Every time I try to read the Bible... and Jesus... the one with all the...

Every time I try to read the Bible... and Jesus... the one with all the...

I'm going by the church, I didn't say I was GOING TO CHURCH I said...

I'm going by the church, I didn't say I was GOING TO CHURCH I said...

True prayer is you sittin' having a conversation with God. Anybody can pray, anybody can...

True prayer is you sittin' having a conversation with God. Anybody can pray, anybody can...

The devil is a lie, im not finna eat this.

The devil is a lie, im not finna eat this.

Hellerrr How u durnin'

Hellerrr How u durnin'

Aint none of my weapons made by concealed they all made by smith and wesson.

Aint none of my weapons made by concealed they all made by smith and wesson.

Stop using that baby to make that man life miserable. The man don't want you,...

Stop using that baby to make that man life miserable. The man don't want you,...

Lil girl! Stop poppin dat gum!

Lil girl! Stop poppin dat gum!

A grown man is so secure with himself he will go flip burgers to make...

A grown man is so secure with himself he will go flip burgers to make...

I'm Madea. Muh to da damn D-E-A!

I'm Madea. Muh to da damn D-E-A!

She don't know me. I'm a straight-up thug. I shot Tupac. Yes, I did. We...

She don't know me. I'm a straight-up thug. I shot Tupac. Yes, I did. We...

Aquanisha baby, when u perm, ur head, perm both sides.

Aquanisha baby, when u perm, ur head, perm both sides.

Lady, I got bout 27 people in my head and they was all about to...

Lady, I got bout 27 people in my head and they was all about to...

Brown, stop shoppin at baby gap!

Brown, stop shoppin at baby gap!

And when i think about the goodness of jesus and all that he has done...

And when i think about the goodness of jesus and all that he has done...