Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Robert Benchley Quotes

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his...

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his...

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But...

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But...

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is...

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is...

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

So much of our time is spent in preparation, so much in routine, and so...

So much of our time is spent in preparation, so much in routine, and so...