Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Electricity Quotes

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around...

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the patty group, which...

Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the patty group, which...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that...

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are...

Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are...

ABC Television Network: Your services, such as they are, will no longer be required as...

ABC Television Network: Your services, such as they are, will no longer be required as...