A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Quote by Sam Ewing

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn...

On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn...

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old...

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old...

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up...

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up...

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is...

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at...

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at...

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and...

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the...

Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the...