A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

Quote by Ronnie Corbett

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

I think people feel starved of nice, glamorous entertainment. They want to see costumes and...

I think people feel starved of nice, glamorous entertainment. They want to see costumes and...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Popular culture is the new Babylon, into which so much art and intellect now flow....

Popular culture is the new Babylon, into which so much art and intellect now flow....

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're...

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're...

I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.

I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be...

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be...

For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, though in another dress, and as...

For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, though in another dress, and as...

Yes, I am thoroughly enjoying retirement! The best part is observing my neighbors drive off...

Yes, I am thoroughly enjoying retirement! The best part is observing my neighbors drive off...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins...

Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

In the middle ages, people took potions for their ailments. In the 19th century they...

In the middle ages, people took potions for their ailments. In the 19th century they...

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is...

Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is...

Old age, especially an honoured old age, has so great authority, that this is of...

Old age, especially an honoured old age, has so great authority, that this is of...

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I...

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I...