A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

Quote by Ronnie Corbett

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

I think people feel starved of nice, glamorous entertainment. They want to see costumes and...

I think people feel starved of nice, glamorous entertainment. They want to see costumes and...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

Imagination... its limits are only those of the mind itself.

Imagination... its limits are only those of the mind itself.

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you...

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you...

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.

The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to...

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to...

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person...

A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person...

Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion...

Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion...

Genius is present in every age, but the men carrying it within them remain benumbed...

Genius is present in every age, but the men carrying it within them remain benumbed...

Engineering...to define rudely but not inaptly, is the art of doing that well with one...

Engineering...to define rudely but not inaptly, is the art of doing that well with one...

Left hand, right hand, it doesnt matter. Im amphibious.

Left hand, right hand, it doesnt matter. Im amphibious.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not...

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not...

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.

There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the...

There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the...