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If I had a flower for every time yo umade me smile and laugh I'd...

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If I had a flower for every time yo umade me smile and laugh I'd...

Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.

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Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.

With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who could not be happy.

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With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who could not be happy.

Earth Laughs In Flowers

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Earth Laughs In Flowers

A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

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A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart !...

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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart !...

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

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At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

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Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

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Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

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New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

A wife says to her husband "I want you to whisper dirty things in my...

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A wife says to her husband

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

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My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better...

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Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better...

If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

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If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

Words go from “babe” to “bitch”. "I love you" to " I hate you". "I...

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Words go from “babe” to “bitch”.

Break ups aren't always meant for make ups. Sometimes relationships end in order for you...

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Break ups aren't always meant for make ups. Sometimes relationships end in order for you...

Women do not go after bad boys. They go after confident guys who know what...

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Women do not go after bad boys. They go after confident guys who know what...