I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it twice

I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it twice

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Good things Picture Quotes, Swear Picture Quotes

Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

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Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

It symbolize that she's my property and I own her

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It symbolize that she's my property and I own her

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove...

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To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove...

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've...

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He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've...

Thing is, hope's for sissies.

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Thing is, hope's for sissies.

A good man can feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world... oh...

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A good man can feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world... oh...

As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

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As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

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Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

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Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

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I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow...

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The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow...

If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

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If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

Don't Panic.Organize!

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Don't Panic.Organize!

When nothing goes right.... go left.

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When nothing goes right.... go left.

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

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If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

Good things come to those who wait, but better things come to those who work...

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Good things come to those who wait, but better things come to those who work...