I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it twice

I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it twice

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Good things Picture Quotes, Swear Picture Quotes

Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

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Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

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If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do...

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The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do...

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

When nothing goes right.... go left.

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When nothing goes right.... go left.

Stop thinking of fun and have it

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Stop thinking of fun and have it

If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

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If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

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May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

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If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

A lot of times when a package says 'Open other end', I purposely open the...

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A lot of times when a package says 'Open other end', I purposely open the...

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

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The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

Flames to dust. Lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?

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Flames to dust. Lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?

When you leave the wrong people behind the right things start happening.

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When you leave the wrong people behind the right things start happening.