I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it twice

I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it twice

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Good things Picture Quotes, Swear Picture Quotes

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say I want...

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After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say I want...

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

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I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

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And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

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Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

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You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

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Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

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Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

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You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

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A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

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Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere.

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Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere.

Flames to dust. Lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?

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Flames to dust. Lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?