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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

The world is a stage but the play is badly cast

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The world is a stage but the play is badly cast

Do you ever wonder why Love is like drinking beer ? It's because once you...

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Do you ever wonder why Love is like drinking beer ? It's because once you...

Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

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Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

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A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

So many books, so little time.

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So many books, so little time.

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

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Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

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It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

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Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

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Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

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No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

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What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner you'd better...

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Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner you'd better...

Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.

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Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.