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I was married by a judge,I should asked for a jury

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I was married by a judge,I should asked for a jury

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A...

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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A...

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

Humor is reason gone mad.

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Humor is reason gone mad.

A black cat crossing your path signifies..

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A black cat crossing your path signifies..

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to...

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Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to...

Always keep your beautiful imagination & exquisite humor

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Always keep your beautiful imagination & exquisite humor

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

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I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.

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Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time...

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time...

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

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There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people,"...

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Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

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The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must...

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All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must...

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

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'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

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Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come...

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“Begin at the beginning,

We read to know that we are not alone.

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We read to know that we are not alone.