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When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you...

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When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered? House: Scent of a man. I realize...

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Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered? House: Scent of a man. I realize...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the...

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Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the...

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

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It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

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If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

What exactly does expression mean "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?

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What exactly does expression mean

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

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My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at...

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I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at...

Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

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Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

Seduction is always more singular and sublime than sex and it commands the higher price.

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Seduction is always more singular and sublime than sex and it commands the higher price.

Choose the guy who takes you to his house to meet his parents, not his...

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Choose the guy who takes you to his house to meet his parents, not his...