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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

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Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking...

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Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking...

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

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They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

New Year New Girlfriend New Problems.

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New Year New Girlfriend New Problems.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

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Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

I love my computer because my friends live in it

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I love my computer because my friends live in it

A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

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A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

If you wouldn't make her a wife. Then don't make her a mother.

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If you wouldn't make her a wife. Then don't make her a mother.

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

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The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

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In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

Life takes you to unexpected places, Love brings you Home.

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Life takes you to unexpected places, Love brings you Home.

That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest

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That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest