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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

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If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

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Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered? House: Scent of a man. I realize...

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Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered? House: Scent of a man. I realize...

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

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When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have...

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Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have...

A big bear hug for you.

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A big bear hug for you.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

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A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

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I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

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The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best,...

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It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best,...

A witty saying proves nothing

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A witty saying proves nothing

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

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May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?"...

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Joseph:

Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

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Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

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I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about

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Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about

Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked...

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Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked...

Smile to the world and the world smiles back at you.

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Smile to the world and the world smiles back at you.