I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

Topics: Assholes Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Happiness Picture Quotes, Inspirational Picture Quotes

My friends praise me and make an ass of me, now my foes tell me...

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My friends praise me and make an ass of me, now my foes tell me...

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes.

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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes.

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you...

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Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you...

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

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A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.

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He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.

I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

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I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

A wife says to her husband "I want you to whisper dirty things in my...

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A wife says to her husband

Would I rather be feared or loved. Easy, both. I want people to be afraid...

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Would I rather be feared or loved. Easy, both. I want people to be afraid...

New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

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New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

It's useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love,...

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It's useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love,...

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

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I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

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And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

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Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

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When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to...

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If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to...

I guess we all like to be recognized not for one piece of fireworks, but...

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I guess we all like to be recognized not for one piece of fireworks, but...