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You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

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You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

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When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

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In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status....

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Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status....

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

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My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

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I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

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It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

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Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your mind. Close your mouth

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Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your mind. Close your mouth

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

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And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

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What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

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At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

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We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

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A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

We are all explorers trying to find ourselves

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We are all explorers trying to find ourselves

It's a new day push it to the limit

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It's a new day push it to the limit

If you're going to do something tonight, that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

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If you're going to do something tonight, that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...