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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

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Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

No one will win the battle of the sexe, there is too much flirting with...

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No one will win the battle of the sexe, there is too much flirting with...

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best,...

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It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best,...

I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

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I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: Send me your mother!

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Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: Send me your mother!

At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

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At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

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Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things...

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OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things...

That's the problem with drinking, I thought as I poured myself a drink. If something...

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That's the problem with drinking, I thought as I poured myself a drink. If something...

Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

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Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

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It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

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The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

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I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

Don't work hard, work intelligent.

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Don't work hard, work intelligent.

Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love it is a waste of time. There are...

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Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love it is a waste of time. There are...

Make jokes, no stress, love life proceed, progress.

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Make jokes, no stress, love life proceed, progress.

Never apologise for what you feel. It's like saying sorry for being real.

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Never apologise for what you feel. It's like saying sorry for being real.