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I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please, continue while I take notes.
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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year
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We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance
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Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...
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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...
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Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.
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You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...
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Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...
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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...
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My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found...
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All I want for Christmas is Money.
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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted
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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...
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When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.
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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...
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Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
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Enjoy the little things for they are the big things.
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Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending
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If you're going to do something tonight, that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
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