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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

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We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

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Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...

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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

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Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

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The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...

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You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...

Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

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Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found...

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My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found...

All I want for Christmas is Money.

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All I want for Christmas is Money.

How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

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When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

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Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Enjoy the little things for they are the big things.

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Enjoy the little things for they are the big things.

Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending

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Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending

If you're going to do something tonight, that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

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If you're going to do something tonight, that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...