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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance.There's no doubt about it.Anytime you have a...

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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance.There's no doubt about it.Anytime you have a...

A black cat crossing your path signifies..

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A black cat crossing your path signifies..

I was married by a judge,I should asked for a jury

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I was married by a judge,I should asked for a jury

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A...

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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A...

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I...

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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I...

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

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Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?

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Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?

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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?

Happiness is a warm puppy.

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Happiness is a warm puppy.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

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I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company

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Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

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Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging,...

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If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging,...

If you left me without a reason do not come back with an excuse

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If you left me without a reason do not come back with an excuse