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As a single parent who is dating, make your child your priority. Make this known...

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As a single parent who is dating, make your child your priority. Make this known...

So many books, so little time.

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So many books, so little time.

I always think clothes make you look fat, so I prefer to be naked.

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I always think clothes make you look fat, so I prefer to be naked.

Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

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Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

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Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

There's more to life than beer, but who cares

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There's more to life than beer, but who cares

Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

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Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

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The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

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Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

When someone asks me to borrow a book, at first I'm happy they want to...

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When someone asks me to borrow a book, at first I'm happy they want to...

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

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New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?"...

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Joseph:

I love my computer because my friends live in it

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I love my computer because my friends live in it

Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love.

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Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love.

I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

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I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

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I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

She's just a little too scared to get close because everyone who said they'd be...

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She's just a little too scared to get close because everyone who said they'd be...

Cultivate your curves they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

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Cultivate your curves they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.