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As a single parent who is dating, make your child your priority. Make this known...

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As a single parent who is dating, make your child your priority. Make this known...

Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

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Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

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I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

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The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

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I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

It's officially New Years Eve! You have less than 24 hrs to do ll the...

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It's officially New Years Eve! You have less than 24 hrs to do ll the...

He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.

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He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I...

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If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I...

Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

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Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

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You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11...

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On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11...

Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

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Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

Diamonds, a girl best friend is what they say but believe me with the right...

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Diamonds, a girl best friend is what they say but believe me with the right...

There's always gonna be that one girl that's prettier than you, but you've just gotta...

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There's always gonna be that one girl that's prettier than you, but you've just gotta...

I don't need a love story to explain the story of me falling in love

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I don't need a love story to explain the story of me falling in love

Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is...

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Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is...