I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Women Quotes

It is better to watch things then to do them.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink and wear as...

Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink and wear as...

And it shall be the prince's part to give burnt offerings, and meat offerings, and...

And it shall be the prince's part to give burnt offerings, and meat offerings, and...

Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.