Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

Quote by Richard Nixon

Topics: Funny Quotes, Television Quotes

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

The only completely consistent people are the dead.

The only completely consistent people are the dead.

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting...

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting...

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be...

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be...

Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord...

Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord...

Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about...

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about...

Tony Blair is like an actor who doesn't really believe in his script himself but...

Tony Blair is like an actor who doesn't really believe in his script himself but...

A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old...

A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old...

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska...

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska...

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a...

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a...

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

Happy Leap Day! Use it to do something adventurous that you'd never normally do! Now...

Happy Leap Day! Use it to do something adventurous that you'd never normally do! Now...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...