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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

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Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

When you're down Friends say: "If you need me, give me a call". Best friends...

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When you're down Friends say:

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

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I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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All of us want to look our best. Still, what is considered beautiful or handsome...

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All of us want to look our best. Still, what is considered beautiful or handsome...

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that...

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Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that...

Being respected by guys is more important than being beautiful in their eyes.

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Being respected by guys is more important than being beautiful in their eyes.

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

Girls are like abstract painting even though you can't understand them, they are still beautiful

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Girls are like abstract painting even though you can't understand them, they are still beautiful

Even something really beautiful can be broken sometimes.

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Even something really beautiful can be broken sometimes.

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes

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The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes

Sending a girl a text that says "good morning beautiful" can change her attitude for...

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Sending a girl a text that says

Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about

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Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about

You are beautiful. Learn to accept yourself.

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You are beautiful. Learn to accept yourself.

Mathematics possesses not only truth, but also supreme beauty.

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Mathematics possesses not only truth, but also supreme beauty.

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

What women should know a man who truly loves you will never let you go,...

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What women should know a man who truly loves you will never let you go,...