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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

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I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

When you're down Friends say: "If you need me, give me a call". Best friends...

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When you're down Friends say:

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

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Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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One day she'll start sending you mixed signals, and you'll get mad because she finally...

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One day she'll start sending you mixed signals, and you'll get mad because she finally...

Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings

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Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings

If he loves you, you'll know. If he doesn't, you'll be confused

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If he loves you, you'll know. If he doesn't, you'll be confused

For love, Have you ever done anything only for love? Have you braved the wind...

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For love, Have you ever done anything only for love? Have you braved the wind...

Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

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Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

Since sex got easier to get , love got harder to find

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Since sex got easier to get , love got harder to find

The worst way to leave someone is without an explanation

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The worst way to leave someone is without an explanation

Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person...

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Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person...

You can always tell how much you love someone by how much they can hurt...

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You can always tell how much you love someone by how much they can hurt...

One of the stupidest mistake in life is thinking that the person who hurt you...

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One of the stupidest mistake in life is thinking that the person who hurt you...

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to those things you meet someone...

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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to those things you meet someone...