I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

Quote by Johnny Carson

Topics: Marriage Quotes

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

We're more effective than birth control pills.

We're more effective than birth control pills.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I would rather have an inferiority complex and be pleasantly surprised, than have a superiority...

I would rather have an inferiority complex and be pleasantly surprised, than have a superiority...

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but...

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but...

Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...

Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...