A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth.

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called...

Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called...

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Honey, you look back so much you should have a relationship rear-view mirror.

Honey, you look back so much you should have a relationship rear-view mirror.

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to...

Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to...

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Emotional" is just code for "I don't want to hire a woman.

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.