Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called...

Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Emotional" is just code for "I don't want to hire a woman.

Yes ladies. I am a lesbian.

Yes ladies. I am a lesbian.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Well it's about f**kin time. Get over here and do me.

Well it's about f**kin time. Get over here and do me.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....