I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button...

Topics: Funny Quotes, Good Morning Quotes, Sleep Quotes

Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who...

Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who...

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is...

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is...

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

I would there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep...

I would there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on...

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on...

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

Keep courage. Whatever you do, do not feel sorry for yourself. You will win in...

Keep courage. Whatever you do, do not feel sorry for yourself. You will win in...

He must be the only man alive who can eat an apple through a tennis...

He must be the only man alive who can eat an apple through a tennis...

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.

When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up,...

When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up,...

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...

Wake up everyday stronger than yesterday, face your fears and wipe your tears.

Wake up everyday stronger than yesterday, face your fears and wipe your tears.

A little appreciation and a good morning goes a long way to building a good...

A little appreciation and a good morning goes a long way to building a good...

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.