I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button...

Topics: Funny Quotes, Good Morning Quotes, Sleep Quotes

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom.

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom.

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

The most minor gifts and not a very high class way to earn a living....

The most minor gifts and not a very high class way to earn a living....

Information is the oxygen of the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by...

Information is the oxygen of the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not,...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not,...

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

In my youth I stressed freedom, and in my old age I stress order. I...

In my youth I stressed freedom, and in my old age I stress order. I...

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex ever. Now that...

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex ever. Now that...

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Old age realizes the dreams of youth: look at Dean Swift; in his youth he...

Old age realizes the dreams of youth: look at Dean Swift; in his youth he...

Just called the police on my girlfriend. She hasn't committed a crime, I just want...

Just called the police on my girlfriend. She hasn't committed a crime, I just want...

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a...

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a...

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in...

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

I have been a believer in the magic of language since, at a very early...

I have been a believer in the magic of language since, at a very early...

If you don't run your own life, somebody else will.

If you don't run your own life, somebody else will.

Wake up everyday stronger than yesterday, face your fears and wipe your tears.

Wake up everyday stronger than yesterday, face your fears and wipe your tears.

A little appreciation and a good morning goes a long way to building a good...

A little appreciation and a good morning goes a long way to building a good...

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.