Quotes by Tim Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and...

#Funny, #Women

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his...

#Humor

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words large or size with...

#Women

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his...

#Humor

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have...

#Choices

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested...

#Tim Allen

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle...

#Tim Allen

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

#Tim Allen

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar....

#Tim Allen

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever...

#Tim Allen

Men are scum, right ladies? Too bad we own everything!

#Male Chauvinist