Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Quote by Tim Allen

Topics: Tim Allen Quotes

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his...

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his...

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have...

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have...

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever...

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever...

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and...

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and...

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his...

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his...

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle...

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle...

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested...

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested...

Men are scum, right ladies? Too bad we own everything!

Men are scum, right ladies? Too bad we own everything!

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words large or size with...

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words large or size with...

Fortunately, the time has long passed when people liked to regard the United States as...

Fortunately, the time has long passed when people liked to regard the United States as...

By refusing to implement the womens contracting program and repeatedly failing to meet required contracting...

By refusing to implement the womens contracting program and repeatedly failing to meet required contracting...

There is a woman at the begining of all great things.

There is a woman at the begining of all great things.

I think all women go through periods where we hate this about ourselves, we don't...

I think all women go through periods where we hate this about ourselves, we don't...

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient...

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient...

Marriage, Sir, is much more necessary to a man than to a woman; for he...

Marriage, Sir, is much more necessary to a man than to a woman; for he...

All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have...

All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have...

Female beauty is an important Minor Sacrament which cannot be received too often; I am...

Female beauty is an important Minor Sacrament which cannot be received too often; I am...

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant...

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant...

The older woman's love is not love of herself, nor of herself mirrored in a...

The older woman's love is not love of herself, nor of herself mirrored in a...