Quotes by Dave Barry

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

#Advice

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

#Life

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

#Death

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again...

#Democracy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

#Love

Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the patty group, which...

#Food

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

#Business

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

#Humanity

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

#Fashion, #Hypocrisy

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of...

#Fear

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

#Children, #Fear

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

#God