Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

Class in society is determined by voice

Class in society is determined by voice

It's time to reappreciate the original software: paper.

It's time to reappreciate the original software: paper.