Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that...

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that...

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The...

Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The...