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Going to the bathroom is not a spectator sport.

Going to the bathroom is not a spectator sport.

Well, I'd say that the minute sound came in, it was everybody talking their heads...

Well, I'd say that the minute sound came in, it was everybody talking their heads...

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will...

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will...

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.

I'm so sorry I fell down.

I'm so sorry I fell down.

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.

A mind is like a parachute. If it doesn't open, you're fucked!

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A mind is like a parachute. If it doesn't open, you're fucked!

Why don't you climb down off the cross, take the wood to build a bridge,...

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Why don't you climb down off the cross, take the wood to build a bridge,...

Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith.

Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith.

In tragedy every moment is eternity; in comedy, eternity is a moment.

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In tragedy every moment is eternity; in comedy, eternity is a moment.

It takes intelligence to make real comedy, and it takes a reality base to create...

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It takes intelligence to make real comedy, and it takes a reality base to create...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

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We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

Life in the movie business is like the beginning of a new love affair: it's...

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Life in the movie business is like the beginning of a new love affair: it's...

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

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Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get...

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Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get...

I can't cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

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I can't cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.