You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. You look so good, oh my gosh. You look at yourself? I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday, that's coming up.

Quote by Nick Swardson

Topics: Nick Swardson Quotes

Yea.. but it's a fucking sweet car!

Yea.. but it's a fucking sweet car!

Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

I have to pee out of my ass.

I have to pee out of my ass.

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie!

Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie!

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Let's do it'The levels I mean, not sex.

Let's do it'The levels I mean, not sex.

Dude, wanking off on my mom is one thing, but doing your grandma...Thats legendary!

Dude, wanking off on my mom is one thing, but doing your grandma...Thats legendary!

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Oh, and I'm still gonna kill you someday.

Oh, and I'm still gonna kill you someday.

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Do you need a stuffed animal? I have a dog. I think I have a...

Do you need a stuffed animal? I have a dog. I think I have a...

I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled...

I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled...

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

My name is JP. I am a robot. I like robots. I have a robot...

My name is JP. I am a robot. I like robots. I have a robot...

I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in...

I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in...