You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. You look so good, oh my gosh. You look at yourself? I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday, that's coming up.

Quote by Nick Swardson

Topics: Nick Swardson Quotes

My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I...

My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I...

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

Do you need a stuffed animal? I have a dog. I think I have a...

Do you need a stuffed animal? I have a dog. I think I have a...

Yea.. but it's a fucking sweet car!

Yea.. but it's a fucking sweet car!

I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled...

I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled...

Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie!

Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie!

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

That's cool.....if you wanna be sober and vomit.

That's cool.....if you wanna be sober and vomit.

So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean,...

So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean,...

God bless you Jimmy, God bless your heart.

God bless you Jimmy, God bless your heart.

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah,...

Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah,...

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Who wants to know what Jackie Gleason's balls tasted like? Yes, Cornbread.

Who wants to know what Jackie Gleason's balls tasted like? Yes, Cornbread.