You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. You look so good, oh my gosh. You look at yourself? I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday, that's coming up.

Quote by Nick Swardson

Topics: Nick Swardson Quotes

That's cool.....if you wanna be sober and vomit.

That's cool.....if you wanna be sober and vomit.

Oh, and I'm still gonna kill you someday.

Oh, and I'm still gonna kill you someday.

Uh-oh? What does that mean? High score? Is that bad? Did I break it?

Uh-oh? What does that mean? High score? Is that bad? Did I break it?

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I...

My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I...

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

Let's do it'The levels I mean, not sex.

Let's do it'The levels I mean, not sex.

I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in...

I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in...

Can we take a shower and talk about this?

Can we take a shower and talk about this?

Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

God bless you Jimmy, God bless your heart.

God bless you Jimmy, God bless your heart.

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Shit's weak! Shit's weak! Wizzeak!

Shit's weak! Shit's weak! Wizzeak!

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean,...

So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean,...

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.