You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

Quote by John Mendoza

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabetsoup?

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabetsoup?

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my rocketship underpants dont help.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my rocketship underpants dont help.

The rest of all the acts of Asa, and all his might, and all that...

The rest of all the acts of Asa, and all his might, and all that...

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us...

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us...

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

Carrie: I just love Sleeping Beauty! The music, the sets, the costumes. It's so romantic!...

Carrie: I just love Sleeping Beauty! The music, the sets, the costumes. It's so romantic!...

The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can...

The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can...

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than...

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than...

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're...

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

My ideal relaxation is working on upholstry. I spend hours in junk shops buying furniture....

My ideal relaxation is working on upholstry. I spend hours in junk shops buying furniture....

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good...

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good...

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Mr. Right's coming.. but he's in Africa and he's walking!

Mr. Right's coming.. but he's in Africa and he's walking!

The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep...

The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep...