Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.

Quote by Jack Handy

Topics: Books Quotes

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black...

I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black...

I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran...

I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran...

As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again,...

As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again,...

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people,...

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people,...

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And...

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And...

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of...

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of...

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much...

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much...

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into...

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into...

I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so...

I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so...

The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole...

The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole...

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because,...

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because,...

The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his...

The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his...

If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers...

If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers...

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I...

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I...

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: That guy sure owed...

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: That guy sure owed...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can't figure out.

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can't figure out.