Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office.

Quote by Abraham Lincoln

Topics: Humor Quotes

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could do for themselves.

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could do for themselves.

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.

The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from...

The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from...

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No,...

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No,...

The highest art is always the most religious, and the greatest artist is always a...

The highest art is always the most religious, and the greatest artist is always a...

Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history

Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history

Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to...

Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to...

I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.

I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.

It has long been a grave question whether any government, not too strong for the...

It has long been a grave question whether any government, not too strong for the...

Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his arent very new...

Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his arent very new...

I shall try to correct errors when shown to be errors, and I shall adopt...

I shall try to correct errors when shown to be errors, and I shall adopt...

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I...

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I...

I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what...

I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what...

Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him...

Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him...

You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence.

Whatever spiteful fools may say, Each jealous ranting yelper, No woman ever went astray, Without...

Whatever spiteful fools may say, Each jealous ranting yelper, No woman ever went astray, Without...

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am...

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am...

I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.

I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.

The great armies, accumulated to provide security and preserve the peace, carried the nations to...

The great armies, accumulated to provide security and preserve the peace, carried the nations to...

We used to wonder where war lived, what it was that made it so vile....

We used to wonder where war lived, what it was that made it so vile....