We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

Quote by Jon Stewart

Topics: Journalism Quotes, News Quotes, The Daily Show Quotes

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we...

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we...

The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be...

The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion...

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted...

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted...

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border....

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border....

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride...

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride...

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance...

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance...

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of...

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of...