We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

Quote by Jon Stewart

Topics: Journalism Quotes, News Quotes, The Daily Show Quotes

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border....

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border....

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people....

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people....

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be...

The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an...

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy....

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy....

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program...

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program...

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...