Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.

Quote by Dick Van Dyke

Topics: Dick Van Dyke Quotes

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot...

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot...

Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and...

Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and...

So I think we're kind of an alternate choice for people who have had it...

So I think we're kind of an alternate choice for people who have had it...

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and...

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and...

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're...

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're...

I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But...

I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But...

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.

I don't have any children, I have four middle-aged people.

I don't have any children, I have four middle-aged people.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was...

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was...

We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of...

We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of...

I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third...

I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third...

I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.

I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.

A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want...

A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want...

I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.

I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show...

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show...