Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.

Quote by Dick Van Dyke

Topics: Dick Van Dyke Quotes

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot...

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot...

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and...

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and...

I never made a good movie.

I never made a good movie.

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

I wanted to be a radio announcer.

I wanted to be a radio announcer.

We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of...

We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of...

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was...

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was...

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was...

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was...

So I think we're kind of an alternate choice for people who have had it...

So I think we're kind of an alternate choice for people who have had it...

I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third...

I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third...

No, I did night clubs right here in Los Angeles. My partner, Phil Erickson, put...

No, I did night clubs right here in Los Angeles. My partner, Phil Erickson, put...

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to...

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to...

You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.

You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I don't have any children, I have four middle-aged people.

I don't have any children, I have four middle-aged people.

A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want...

A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want...

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.