To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Quote by Ambrose Bierce
Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing
LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and...
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by...
SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and...
The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.
OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as...
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
OPTIMISM, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything...
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself...
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
INSURRECTION, n. An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but...
Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the...
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent...
Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.