This is my favorite part coming up right now. -Mike Tyson

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Alan Garner: You hear that? The baby's name is Tyler. Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I thought...

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To a night we'll never remember, but the four of us will never forget.

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Stu Price: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza? Alan Garner: Yes.

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Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor:...

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Next weeks no good for me. The Jonas Brothers are in town. -Alan

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Like you said - we all do dumb shit when we're fucked up. -Mike Tyson...

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Stu Price: [while Alan adds pepper to the roofied steak] Why are you peppering the...

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Phil asks: Whose baby is that? Alan reponds: Check its collar or something.

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