They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Funerals Quotes

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far...

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all...

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of...

You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and...

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and...

I thought he was at summer camp. - They must've kicked him out early this...

I thought he was at summer camp. - They must've kicked him out early this...

She got incredibly hot over last summer...

She got incredibly hot over last summer...

Grilling outside with my parents at the Jersey shore. We would grill lobster and corn...

Grilling outside with my parents at the Jersey shore. We would grill lobster and corn...

I cant wait for summer! Yeah buddy...floating, camping and drinking beer on a hot summer...

I cant wait for summer! Yeah buddy...floating, camping and drinking beer on a hot summer...