The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

Quote by Jack Dee

Topics: Funny Quotes, Television Quotes

One of my friends went on a murder weekend... now he is doing life for...

One of my friends went on a murder weekend... now he is doing life for...

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

Some die too young, some die too old; the precept sounds strange, but die at...

Some die too young, some die too old; the precept sounds strange, but die at...

Anyone else feel kinda weird when your computer asks you if you would like to...

Anyone else feel kinda weird when your computer asks you if you would like to...

A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

The weariest and most loathed worldly life, that age, ache, penury and imprisonment can lay...

The weariest and most loathed worldly life, that age, ache, penury and imprisonment can lay...

I will never give in to old age until I become old. And I'm not...

I will never give in to old age until I become old. And I'm not...

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I...

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I...

When you become senile, you won't know it.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for...

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for...

Folks, the President needs a break. Hes like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil...

Folks, the President needs a break. Hes like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil...

The age of chivalry has gone; the age of humanity has come.

The age of chivalry has gone; the age of humanity has come.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

I'm back... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a...

I'm back... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a...

In the wintertime, in the snow country, citrus fruit was so rare, and if you...

In the wintertime, in the snow country, citrus fruit was so rare, and if you...

We live in an age when to be young and to be indifferent can be...

We live in an age when to be young and to be indifferent can be...

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

I put my hand on the dark skin and felt the chill of centuries long...

I put my hand on the dark skin and felt the chill of centuries long...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the...

Television excites me because it seems to be the last stamping ground of poetry, the...

Television excites me because it seems to be the last stamping ground of poetry, the...