So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why…

Quote by Art Buchwald

Topics: Art Buchwald Quotes

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a...

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

Whether its the best of times or the worst of times, its the only time...

Whether its the best of times or the worst of times, its the only time...

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65...

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65...

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time...

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time...

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a...

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a...

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the...

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make...

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make...

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American....

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American....

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along...

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along...

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing...

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a...

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a...

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50...

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50...