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People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a...

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a...

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American....

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American....

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50...

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50...

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65...

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along...

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a...

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a...

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make...

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make...

So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The...

So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The...

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a...

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the...

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the...

There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at...

There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at...

We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to...

We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to...

The future starts today, not tomorrow.

The future starts today, not tomorrow.

Life presents us with a new opportunity every day. Learn from both your mistakes and...

Life presents us with a new opportunity every day. Learn from both your mistakes and...