Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Football Quotes, Funny Quotes

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40...

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40...

I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's...

I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's...

The internet is the most powerful tool we have for creating a more open and...

The internet is the most powerful tool we have for creating a more open and...

A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of...

A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of...