PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Politics Quotes

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine,...

MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine,...

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored...

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored...

Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.

RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to...

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to...

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving...

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving...

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is...

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is...

(Love) A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(Love) A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.

RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth...

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth...

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes...

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes...

When you doubt, abstain.

When you doubt, abstain.

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.