Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out.

Quote by Adrienne Gusoff

If the shoe fits, it's too expensive.

If the shoe fits, it's too expensive.

Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies.

Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies.

Shopping is better than sex. At least if youre not satisfied, you can exchange it...

Shopping is better than sex. At least if youre not satisfied, you can exchange it...

Life is like a cobweb, not an organizational chart.

Life is like a cobweb, not an organizational chart.

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one,...

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one,...

The only people who make love all the time are liars.

The only people who make love all the time are liars.

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. Theres too much fraternizing with the...

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. Theres too much fraternizing with the...

How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.

How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.

Life is like an onion; you peel one layer off at a time and sometimes...

Life is like an onion; you peel one layer off at a time and sometimes...

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money...

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money...

Everyone wants to hear I Love You but what they want more is for it...

Everyone wants to hear I Love You but what they want more is for it...

Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the...

Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the...

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster...

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster...