The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: New Baby Quotes

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of...

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of...

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

There is nothing that strengthens a nation like reading of a nation's own history, whether...

There is nothing that strengthens a nation like reading of a nation's own history, whether...

History is little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind

History is little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies...

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies...

I believe in human dignity as the source of national purpose, human liberty as the...

I believe in human dignity as the source of national purpose, human liberty as the...

Men become civilized not in proportion to their willingness to believe but in proportion to...

Men become civilized not in proportion to their willingness to believe but in proportion to...