The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: New Baby Quotes

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items...

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items...

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

Look at growth, look at how much time people spend on the Net and look...

Look at growth, look at how much time people spend on the Net and look...

The Internet is like a giant jellyfish. You can't step on it. You can't go...

The Internet is like a giant jellyfish. You can't step on it. You can't go...