Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Advice Quotes, Funny Quotes

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town...

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town...

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out...

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out...

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make...

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make...

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time...

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time...

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is...

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is...

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who...

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who...

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if...

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if...

Lord, let me live until I die.

Lord, let me live until I die.

Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when...

Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not and...

Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not and...

Necessity, the mother of invention

Necessity, the mother of invention