Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Quote by Will Rogers
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make...
Our investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to knowledge
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
Lord, let me live until I die.
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him father.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if...
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be...
So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the...
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year...
I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted...
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.