Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down,…

Quote by Chelsea Handler

Topics: Chelsea Handler Quotes

It became clear when I got in my car that Persians are only really good...

It became clear when I got in my car that Persians are only really good...

Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This...

Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This...

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you...

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you...

Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it...

Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it...

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last...

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last...

Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a...

Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a...

He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the...

He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the...

I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many...

I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many...

We got to his place and it looked a lot like his personality. Just a...

We got to his place and it looked a lot like his personality. Just a...

The part that wasn't a jackpot was his baseball mound of red pubic hair that...

The part that wasn't a jackpot was his baseball mound of red pubic hair that...

Men dont realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably...

Men dont realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably...

Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a...

Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a...

At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls,...

At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls,...

I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the...

I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the...

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. Its the first time an...

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. Its the first time an...

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people...

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people...

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I...

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I...

...some of the best sex I can barely remember.

...some of the best sex I can barely remember.

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices,...

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices,...

He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound...

He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound...