Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Quote by Robert Orben
With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to...
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.
Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're...
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't...
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep...
Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...
If you can laugh together, you can work together
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs...
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back...
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than...
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take...