Lois: Peter, why would they make you president? Peter: Maybe its because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second...RARF! Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.

Quote by Family Guy

Topics: Family Guy Quotes

Brian Griffin: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE...

Brian Griffin: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE...

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you...

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you...

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...

I will not stand idly by while you abrogate my plans! You shall rue this...

I will not stand idly by while you abrogate my plans! You shall rue this...

Chris: Hey, little dude, you want some ice cream? Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For...

Chris: Hey, little dude, you want some ice cream? Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For...

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, theres a message in my Alphabits. It says, Oooooo. Brian:...

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, theres a message in my Alphabits. It says, Oooooo. Brian:...

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Guns dont kill people; dangerous minorities do. -Gun-rights advocate

Guns dont kill people; dangerous minorities do. -Gun-rights advocate

Counselor: Id like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that...

Counselor: Id like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that...

Im so hungry I could ride a horse. I dont get it. Well, I could...

Im so hungry I could ride a horse. I dont get it. Well, I could...

You know, I rather like this God fellow. Hes very theatrical. A little pestilence here,...

You know, I rather like this God fellow. Hes very theatrical. A little pestilence here,...

Quagmire: Hey there, Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? Connie: Mom! Quagmire:...

Quagmire: Hey there, Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? Connie: Mom! Quagmire:...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

I think the lesson here is, it really doesnt matter where youre from, as long...

I think the lesson here is, it really doesnt matter where youre from, as long...

Hey, Meg, you eighteen yet? -Glen Quagmire

Hey, Meg, you eighteen yet? -Glen Quagmire

Ive sprouted another finger. Counting the one from yesterday, Im up to 11. -Baby Stewie

Ive sprouted another finger. Counting the one from yesterday, Im up to 11. -Baby Stewie

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...